Dad’s new tree

My father had planted a tree in the middle of a large yard. As I was cutting the grass with a Gravely mower, I was daydreaming and ran over the tree. Panicking I stuck it back in the ground. The next summer my father saw that the tree died and grabbed it to look at it. It came right out of the ground and shocked him. Then as he realized what has probably happened, he got enraged and started chasing me. I had to run for my life but eventually I was beaten “to a pulp”.

Short shorts

In my early twenties, before work, when the weather was very nice, I would ride my bicycle along a route along a scenic river. One day a car full of girls kept riding by me and whistling and laughing. I just smiled and waved back taking it as a compliment until I looked down and saw that my privates were hanging out of my shorts leg.

The rich American tourist

I had gotten married in Taiwan. My wife’s business partner and mentor sent us on a trip to Bali, Indonesia. I was the only American. On a certain tour I was buying carvings from street vendors and was surrounded by hundred of vendors trying to sell to me as I was a “westerner”. The police came on horseback and made the tour guide keep me on the bus. I was still bargaining for exotic carvings from the bus window and came home with a wonderful hand carved chess set.

Audience

It was a very hot humid summer back in the early 80s. My girlfriend Joyce lived in a row house in the city where many neighbors sat out on the front patios and many children played in the streets. One night we were “drinking” sweltering hot and sweating and being very naughty in the front bedroom with the windows wide open as there was no air conditioning until it crescendoed with a loud climax. All of a sudden we heard clapping, cheering and hooting. We looked out the front bedroom window and to our shock and embarrassment there was a crould of well over a hundred spectators. To our dismay, the street was packed a well entertained audience.